© 2012 Sedef Örsel Özçelik

Mar 31, 2009

Don't say "Don't"!

Have you ever counted how many times you say "Don't!" in a given day?  

When you say "Don't jump on the bed!" children hear only "jump on the bed", or when you say "Don't run" children hear only the word "run"...

So instead of stating what not to do, tell your children what you would like them to do.

"Don't jump on the bed" can be replaced as:  "You can only jump in the backyard/on the floor/ on the trampoline..."

Try saying "Let's walk!" instead of "Don't run!"...

It would be easier for your children to change their behavior when they know what you are expecting from them.

Mar 23, 2009

Pacifier or no pacifier...

Sucking is a definite need of babies.  It's a great way of self-soothing.  Some even babies suck their fingers or thumbs when they are still in the womb.  But for those babies who doesn't know how to put their fingers into their mouths, pacifiers are great alternative.  
American Academy of Pediatrics find pacifiers OK in the baby's first year.
Here are the pros of using pacifiers:
  • Pacifiers can help soothe fussy babies.
  • When you are in need of couple more minutes while preparing to nurse or feed, pacifiers can help buying that time.
  • Settling down to sleep could be quite hard sometimes...  Pacifiers can help the babies go to sleep.
  • Pacifiers can be a great help of relief during any stressful procedure (shots, blood tests, long drives, plane rides...etc.)
  • Pacifiers are easier to drop than thumb/finger sucking habit thanks to their disposable nature.
Here are the cons of using pacifiers:
  • When introduced to pacifiers to soon, babies can have trouble learning how latch and nurse.
  • Those babies who get used to use pacifiers as a tool to settle down,  may wake up and cry in the middle of the night when they drop the pacifier.
  • Extended use of pacifiers may cause dental problems.
So... Pacifier or no pacifier?  
The answer depends on your baby and on you.  Every baby is unique.  Let your baby's needs guide on your decision...


Mar 15, 2009

Patience... patience...

Patience: the capacity of being not hasty or impetuous...

Patience is a key element for happy parenting :)  Here are some tips for keeping your patience:

  • Remembering the fact that our job as parents is not to control our children's behavior but to meet all their needs!
  • Emotions are contagious but stress moves even faster among people.  Remember that when you are stressed your children will act out even more.  Adapting daily stress relief remedies will help increase your patience...  Meditation, yoga, visualization, praying, taking a daily walk in the park, jogging are some  of the remedies you might like to consider...
  • When you feel  like losing it,  take a time out: address your need to vent and  your decision to take a time out.  Even a few minutes will give you a chance to calm down.   And you will set a good model for your children for their moments of melt down.
  • Remember the fact that it's the adults' job to meet the emotional needs of children but not the children's job to meet the adults' emotional needs.
  • At moments of despair, putting your hand on your heart helps your body and mind to ease.  This also works when your children are at the edge of a tantrum...  you might like to try putting your hand on the small of your children's back.  This physical therapeutic touch works like magic.
  • Taking deep belly breaths also help in keeping our cool.
  • Your job as a parent is not to focus on how you feel about your children's behavior but to understand the intention and need that causes their behavior...  
Enjoy parenting today and everyday :)