A gift...

I say:  Let's give our children the gift of  'being able to make mistakes'... And Shel Silverstein says: "Listen to the MUSN'TS, child,  Listen to the DON'TS  Listen to the SHOULDN'TS  The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS  Listen to the NEVER HAVES  Then listen close to me -  Anything can happen, child,  ANYTHING can be. " Shel Silverstein

No less than any adult!!!

Below is the link for some great news!  A fifteen year old high school student created a test to detect Pancreatic Cancer at a very early stage.  

This news is the proof for us not to underestimate kids.  Just because they are younger, less experienced and less educated than us, the parents... they are nothing but LESS than us!  Let's trust our kids and let them follow their passion...  The results will be wonderful. And here's a great example :)


http://news.yahoo.com/video/baltimorewjz13-15750602/md-high-school-freshman-creates-test-to-detect-pancreatic-cancer-29427190.html

We all need to play :)

Playing is a need.  It doesn't sound as important as eating, sleeping, walking........  But it is a need as well.
Here are a bunch of very creative people who acted upon this need.
And my question is: what do you do to play and have fun with your kids? I mean not just once but regularly?

Raising happy children...

Do you know that Goldie Hawn is not only a great actress but a real hero?  Have you ever heard about The Hawn Foundation and the amazing MindUP program for kids?
Goldie Hawn says: "Our mission is to help young minds by nurturing resilience, hope, and optimism."


Below is the video of her talk with Dr.Dan Siegel.   If you would like to get an idea on how to raise "HAPPY" kids please spare some of your time and watch this TED talk.

"All children behave as well as they are treated." Jan Hunt

All children want to be loved by their parents!  

All children want to behave well and they all want to be loved.

And how they are treated is the key to their behavior. 

:)

The above quote is by Jan Hunt.  You can find more valuable information on her website: Natural Child Project      www.naturalchild.org

Picture: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=3062

"Every stage in a child's life is there for a purpose. If we can respect and respond to her needs fully during each stage of her life, she can be done with that stage and move on." —Naomi Aldort

Naomi Aldort is coming to ISTANBUL :)

There are three experts in my heart who really can speak to a parent's heart as well as her mind! Here's my small list: Pam Leo, Naomi Aldort and Alfie Kohn.  Pam is my teacher and mentor :)  I am more than privileged to be in that last group she taught to be Connection Parenting facilitators...  Although I never met her in person, Naomi Aldort has been a great resource  and muse in my job as a parent coach.  I quote... recommend her book clients and friends... So I am more than happy to announce that Naomi Aldort will be visiting Istanbul this week. The speaking tour dates are as follows:

•   April 20, Lecture in Istanbul, Turkey

•   April 21, Workshop in Istanbul, Turkey

For more information please visit: 

http://www.aldort.com/interviews.html

or

http://www.cihangiryoga.com/

A new school in Istanbul-Arnavutköy

I was invited to talk and introduce Connection Parenting Method to a bunch of parents at BÜMED Merak Eden Çocuk Anaokulu in Arnavutköy.  It was a nice experience.  I loved the school building (an architectural gem, built as a school building in 1902); I loved their parents and teachers.  I got a chance to walk around the school, see their classrooms.  The facility is brand new... very recently renovated.  The teachers are well educated and speak ENGLISH.  So if you are in Istanbul, around Arnavutköy-Etiler area... I would definitely recommend BÜMED Merak Eden Çocuk Anaokulu.  At the least it deserves a visit :)

Slowing down

We are living the life on the fast lane thanks to ever developing technology...  There is of course nothing bad about having the convenience of technologically advanced applications and instruments in our lives.  Yet the pace exhausts our children and us.  Why can't we at least have 30 minutes a day of undisrupted peace and relaxation in the shelter of our homes, ... shared with our families?  Would like to give it a try?  The utter joy of doing nothing but just enjoying the moment is missed and very much needed...  Unless we make a conscious decision to give it a try, our opportunities will be stolen by the simple temptations of TV and Internet...  So it can only happen with a simple conscious intention...  Would you?

“Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so they have very little time with their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world.”

- Mother Theresa

Here's one of my favorite poems on parenting :)

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again Diana Loomans (c) 2008

If I had my child to raise over again,

I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.

I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less, and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.

I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd teach less about the love of power,

And more about the power of love.

Diane Loomans

“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today” - Anonymous

We have one life to live...  And only one life to share...  It goes the same for our kids... they have only one childhood to remember... They have only one childhood to build a personal history...

Let's not procrastinate...  Let's start building memories that will last a lifetime, both for our kids and for us...cause-parenting memories are the best to remember!

Picture: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2125

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." James Baldwin

"A child cannot be taught by anyone who despises him, and a child cannot afford to be fooled."
James A. Baldwin

Do not mistake a child for his symptom. - Erik Erikson

It is human to have a long childhood; it is civilized to have an even longer childhood. Long childhood makes 

a technical and mental virtuoso out of man, but it also leaves a life-long residue of emotional immaturity in him.

— Erik Homburger Erikson (1902-1994)

A great parenting tip from Mr.Albert Einstein

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived lives of the parents. - Carl Jung

Let's raise kids who are happily themselves but not a copy of anyone who looks popular...

"There is something inside you that has NEVER been expressed before. There is a unique style, a huge love, a wonderful creativity and something eternal within you! Don't ruin this precious gift by thinking you should be a carbon copy of someone else. Be you and you will have all the protection and happiness you can imagine!"   - Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath.

This is the very reason why I love teaching "Connection Parenting"

"Many children are less physically and emotinally healthy than they could be.  The current epidemic of childhood 'obesity' suggests that children are overfed but probably undernourished...  
What is a succesful child?  
A child who's happy, well adjusted, and morally grounded... a succesful child is an attached child-connected not just to family, but to the world beyond." 
William Sears, MD and Martha Sears, RN
From "The Succesful Child"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Have you seen this video?  If not please do, it is my new year's gift for all of us.


I watched this video crying and trembling...  How excruciating the pain this young boy had been going through that he was cutting himself.  How hard bullying hurts!  How important it is to be 'me-just the way i am'.  How important it is to be accepted!  How hard it hurts when we are not connected to friends and family!  How loneliness leads to despair...  BUT turning the pain into connection by willing to be honest with feelings and coming out with vulnerability is amazing.  He was painfully well in touch with his needs to be accepted as he is and being connected.  His strength came out of this realization.  If you can read what he wrote under the video, you will receive the good news of what happened after he has posted this video.

I hope 2012 will bring us more chances to be ourselves.  I hope it will bring us acceptance and connection into our lives more than ever.

With my warmest good wishes,

Sedef